Emotional Nutrition
I will tell you my daughter of your worth not your beauty every day. (your beauty is a given. every being is born beautiful). knowing your worth can save your life. raising you on beauty alone you will be starved. you will be raw. you will be weak. an easy stomach. always in need of someone telling you how beautiful you are.
– Nayyirah Waheed –
Our bodies need love, appreciation and gratitude. So much of our thinking is taken up by what to eat, what not to eat, what to wear and how we look... Imagine if we freed up our thinking around food and our bodies and devoted that time and head space to more meaningful aspects of our lives. Imagine a peaceful relationship with food and our bodies. What difference would that make? How would we show up in the world? How would we treat ourselves and treat others? How would we feel on a daily basis? If we felt peace around our bodies....
In today’s world it is really difficult for women to feel good about their bodies and to stop pursuing this mythical ideal weight. When we are focused on the aesthetic aspect of thinness, it creates a dysfunctional relationship with food because we are so obsessed with the number on the scale dropping. When it’s not dropping then we starting thinking “I must cut out carbs” or “I am eating badly, I need to go on a diet”. It is so difficult to find peace with food when you so desperately want to be thinner. So many of us associate being thin with being happy and having a better life, as if all of our problems will magically disappear once we are thinner. When in reality - it is not the weight that will make us happy, it is our commitment to being healthy, free and content with our whole selves.
In my mindful eating coaching session; I start the journey with my clients by highlighting that this agony and obsession of being a certain weight or size is just a mask to something deeper; once they realize that fully - healing starts, they start to blossom and flourish; and so do I.
What I notice is that the more focused we are on weight loss as the only goal, the more dysfunction we create in our relationship with food and with our bodies. Body love can be a difficult thing to attain but the steps to loving our bodies are neutrality, acceptance, gratitude and then love.
Take a look at a few simple steps for you to consider if you are seeking freedom and body love:
Accept that part of you will always have the desire to be thinner, in the same way you may desire better car, a pretty handbag or a nice pair of shoes. Desire is part of us; we wouldn't exist without desire.. but it takes a long time for the desire to wane but eventually it becomes less important. Don’t resist or deny the desire, notice it, see what it feels like in your body, notice what you tell yourself and most importantly what triggers the desire to be thinner. Is it that summer is coming up? Seeing other women? Wanting praise for your thin body?
Stop Chasing Diets Being on a plan forever will never lead to sustainable weight loss. There so many diet camps out there and they involve a lot of restrictions and rules that may not work for you on the long run. In functional Medicine we start by cleaning up the diet and coaching the client how to eat Whole Foods and get educated on what is good for their body and what is not - that is body love and respect. But if you are chasing different trendy diet to keep your weight off - in most cases, it will just lead to a backlash and more weight gain. Sever caloric restriction is harmful to our bodies and our minds.
Pay attention to your judgements of food and people. Do you categorize your food as good or bad, healthy or unhealthy? Remember that food is nutrition and medicine – food should be eaten in its whole form; however - in today's world and with all the different manufactured foods on the shelves - you are responsible to choose what is good for your body and health and what is not; that starts with education and listening to your own body cues.
Do you judge your own body or other people’s bodies? Notice your judgements about appearance and bodies when you see people. Can you change the dialogue to be kinder and more accepting? It takes time and work.. but you must start somewhere and learn to see the perfection in the imperfection.
Stay away from the scale. The scale can be very disruptive to so many people, I always ask my clients - what are you looking for in that number? what does that number tell you about yourself? Are you seeking acceptance? validation? succes?
The scale will fluctuate day in and day out.. Don’t make the number on the scale mean anything other than feedback from your body.
Get Curious with your thoughts and yourself. What does being thin mean to you? How will your life change when you are thin? What will you feel? I always encourage journaling for that.. and reading your reflection back after some times has passed.
Most people say that when they are thin they will feel happy, confident, free, less judged, proud, accomplished. Find ways to cultivate those feelings as you are now. Seek confidence by showing up and doing something challenging or new. I personally remember being at my thinnest and still being unhappy; because what I was seeking was deeper - it was truth, connection, purpose and love; self-love that is.
Stop comparing your body to others - it will leave with with nothing but despair. Just do you.. be you; and the world will adjust.
Gratitude. Gratitude. Gratitude. Try and take the focus away from how you see your body and just acknowledge your body's functionality. It might sound cheesy at first but think about all the experiences and creations your body has facilitated. It is very difficult to move from hating your body to loving your body, but hate has never achieved lasting results. Imagine your body as your child; even if he/she did not look perfect; would you love them or respect them any less?
Observe that critical voice in your head. The voice that tells you that you are not good enough, that you should be thin or lose weight. That voice is here, and there - yes... observe, watch it.. but do. not have that internal dialogue with it but that That voice is not very nice.. Don’t believe the voice. Just accept that it is there and move on.
Perfection is not real. embrace your limitations and imperfections, this is what makes you human. Journal on why are you pursuing perfection? is it because you do not want to be judged? Are you hungry for being accepted and being seen? Perhaps this step starts with acceptance of ourselves. Let’s embrace body and weight diversity! and honestly.. I find so much beauty in someone who owns their imperfection.. and is at peace with it; that vibe of self-love is so attractive and sexy.
Practice and compassion for yourself as you embark on a journey of self-acceptance. This is my area of focus on myself .. I am learning slowly how to become more forgiving, accepting and compassionate with myself, and it requires courage to break away. Our relationship with our bodies and the difficulties we face are opportunities for us to grow and transform.. and it is contagious.
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